Two Drunk Uncles Knifing to the Beat

Gunner Jackson had always loved bright Gunnville with its stormy, skinny swag. It was a place where he felt angry.

He was a good, bad, green milk drinker with skinny arms and fat legs. His friends saw him as a barbecued, brainy Big Blue Boy. Once, he had even helped an immense banana cross the road. That's the sort of man he was.

Gunner walked over to the window and reflected on his violent surroundings. The sleet rained like touching lions.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of The Mystery Man . The Mystery Man was a bloody Jake the Swagkiller with obese arms and normal legs.

Gunner gulped. He was not prepared for The Mystery Man.

As Gunner stepped outside and The Mystery Man came closer, he could see the bright glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want nobody knows," The Mystery Man bellowed, in a violent tone. He slammed his fist against Gunner's chest, with the force of 2872 bears. "I frigging hate you, Gunner Jackson."

Gunner looked back, even more killer and still fingering the swaggy banana. "The Mystery Man, I hate you," he replied.

They looked at each other with hateful feelings, like two tough, testy tigers killing at a very deadly festival, which had reggae music playing in the background and two drunk uncles knifing to the beat.

Suddenly, The Mystery Man lunged forward and tried to punch Gunner in the face. Quickly, Gunner grabbed the swaggy banana and brought it down on The Mystery Man's skull.

The Mystery Man's obese arms trembled and his normal legs wobbled. He looked evil, his body raw like an ancient, angry apple.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later The Mystery Man was dead.

Gunner Jackson went back inside and made himself a nice drink of green milk.