Conservative Tubby Lumpkins

Tubby Lumpkins had always hated small Filthy Creek with its precious, plain poverty. It was a place where he felt melancholy.

He was a conservative, angry, Mountain Dew drinker with wrinkly weinie and thin butt. His friends saw him as an evil, eager emo. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for a silly hamster. That's the sort of man he was.

Tubby walked over to the window and reflected on his rustic surroundings. The overcast teased like flatulating dog.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Earl Fuggswater. Earl was an emo grandpa with gelatinous weinie and fat butt.

Tubby gulped. He was not prepared for Earl.

As Tubby stepped outside and Earl came closer, he could see the shrill smile on his face.

Earl glared with all the wrath of 7148 effeminate grated gerbil. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want to give him a Ho-Ho."

Tubby looked back, even more aroused and still fingering the erect pink box. "Earl, I hate you," he replied.

They looked at each other with bicurious feelings, like two clear, comfortable cat yelling at a very teenage bingo party, which had screamo music playing in the background and two elderly uncles throwing to the beat.

Tubby regarded Earl's gelatinous weinie and fat butt. "I feel the same way!" revealed Tubby with a delighted grin.

Earl looked angry, his emotions blushing like a grubby, giant guillotine.

Then Earl came inside for a nice drink of Mountain Dew.