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Cancer-inducing Reddit

A Short Story
by Tommy Giles Rogers

Tommy Giles Rogers was thinking about Ellen Pao again. Ellen was an arse-vvipe cvnt with sloppy dicks and ugly cvnts.

Tommy walked over to the window and reflected on his false surroundings. He had always hated cancer-inducing Reddit with its damaged, determined dank memes. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel grim.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an arse-vvipe figure of Ellen Pao.

Tommy gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a godly, trve kvlt, admin blood drinker with godly dicks and arovsing cvnts. His friends saw him as a gleaming, gloopy God. Once, he had even saved a smelly mod that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a godly person who had once saved a smelly mod that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Ellen had in store today.

The blood teased like transcending ants of the sky, making Tommy euphoric. Tommy grabbed a nekro coma machine that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Tommy stepped outside and Ellen came closer, he could see the pretty glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want you fired," Ellen bellowed, in a courageous tone. She slammed her fist against Tommy's chest, with the force of 196 goats. "I frigging hate you, Tommy Giles Rogers."

Tommy looked back, even more euphoric and still fingering the nekro coma machine. "Ellen, resign," he replied.

They looked at each other with pissed feelings, like two solid, short selkies growling at a very nazi admin meeting, which had Progressive Technical Blackened Avant-Garde Deathened Thrash Post-Death Metal music playing in the background and two tvvat uncles thrashing to the beat.

Suddenly, Ellen lunged forward and tried to punch Tommy in the face. Quickly, Tommy grabbed the nekro coma machine and brought it down on Ellen's skull.

Ellen's sloppy dicks trembled and her ugly cvnts wobbled. She looked calm, her body raw like an alive, abundant autodidact.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Ellen Pao was dead.

Tommy Giles Rogers went back inside and made himself a nice drink of admin blood.

THE END

Created on 4th July 2015.

Auto Praise for Cancer-inducing Reddit

"I feel like I know Tommy Giles Rogers. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the blood teased like transcending ants of the sky is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop




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