Destructive An Explorer

INT. BOWL OF MACARONI - AFTERNOON

Dim witted krusty crab cook THE ONE AND ONLY SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS is arguing with wierd Stealing christmas THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS. SPONGEBOB tries to hug GRINCH but she shakes him off.

SPONGEBOB
Please Grinch, don't leave me.

GRINCH
I'm sorry Spongebob, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

SPONGEBOB
I am such a person!

GRINCH frowns.

GRINCH
I'm sorry, Spongebob. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

GRINCH leaves.

SPONGEBOB sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, mean Selling unhealthy burgers THE WIERD RONALD MCDONALD barges in looking flustered.

SPONGEBOB
Goodness, Ronald! Is everything okay?

RONALD
I'm afraid not.

SPONGEBOB
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

RONALD
It's ... an An explorer ... I saw an evil An explorer Take exploring a bunch of Potatoes!

SPONGEBOB
Defenseless Potatoes?

RONALD
Yes, defenseless Potatoes!

SPONGEBOB
Bloomin' heck, Ronald! We've got to do something.

RONALD
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

SPONGEBOB
You can start by telling me where this happened.

RONALD
I was...

RONALD fans himself and begins to wheeze.

SPONGEBOB
Focus Ronald, focus! Where did it happen?

RONALD
Gingerbread house! That's right - Gingerbread house!

SPONGEBOB springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

SPONGEBOB rushes along the street, followed by RONALD. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

INT. GINGERBREAD HOUSE - SHORTLY AFTER

DORA THE DESTROYER a destructive An explorer terrorises two Potatoes.

SPONGEBOB, closely followed by RONALD, rushes towards DORA, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

RONALD
What is is? What's the matter?

SPONGEBOB
That's not just any old An explorer, that's Dora The destroyer!

RONALD
Who's Dora The destroyer?

SPONGEBOB
Who's Dora The destroyer? Who's Dora The destroyer? Only the most destructive An explorer in the universe!

RONALD
Blinkin' knickers, Spongebob! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most destructive An explorer in the universe!

SPONGEBOB
You can say that again.

RONALD
Blinkin' knickers, Spongebob! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most destructive An explorer in the universe!

SPONGEBOB
I'm going to need popcorn, lots of popcorn.

Dora turns and sees Spongebob and Ronald. He grins an evil grin.

DORA
Spongebob Squarepants, we meet again.

RONALD
You've met?

SPONGEBOB
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young SPONGEBOB is sitting in a park listening to some pop music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees DORA. He takes off his headphones.

DORA
Would you like some anything with ugar?

SPONGEBOB's eyes light up, but then he studies DORA more closely, and looks uneasy.

SPONGEBOB
I don't know, you look kind of destructive.

DORA
Me? No. I'm not destructive. I'm the least destructive An explorer in the world.

SPONGEBOB
Wait, you're a An explorer?

SPONGEBOB runs away, screaming.

INT. GINGERBREAD HOUSE - PRESENT DAY

DORA
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

RONALD
(To SPONGEBOB) You ran away?

SPONGEBOB
(To RONALD) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

SPONGEBOB turns to DORA.

SPONGEBOB
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

SPONGEBOB runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

SPONGEBOB
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with popcorn.

DORA
I'm not scared of you.

SPONGEBOB
You should be.

INT. A LAWN MOWER - LATER THAT DAY

SPONGEBOB and RONALD walk around searching for something.

SPONGEBOB
I feel sure I left my popcorn somewhere around here.

RONALD
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly popcorn.

SPONGEBOB
You know nothing Ronald McDonald.

RONALD
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, DORA appears, holding a pair of popcorn.

DORA
Looking for something?

RONALD
Crikey, Spongebob, he's got your popcorn.

SPONGEBOB
Tell me something I don't already know!

RONALD
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

SPONGEBOB
I know that already!

RONALD
I'm afraid of the curling iron.

DORA
(appalled) Dude!

While DORA is looking at RONALD with disgust, SPONGEBOB lunges forward and grabs his deadly popcorn. He wields them, triumphantly.

SPONGEBOB
Prepare to die, you destructive eggplant!

DORA
No please! All I did was Take exploring a bunch of Potatoes!

GRINCH enters, unseen by any of the others.

SPONGEBOB
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those Potatoes were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Spongebob Squarepants defender of innocent Potatoes.

DORA
Don't hurt me! Please!

SPONGEBOB
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these popcorn on you right away!

DORA
Because Spongebob, I am your father.

SPONGEBOB looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

SPONGEBOB
No you're not!

DORA
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

DORA tries to grab the popcorn but SPONGEBOB dodges out of the way.

SPONGEBOB
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, DORA slumps to the ground.

RONALD
Did he just faint?

SPONGEBOB
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly popcorn.

SPONGEBOB crouches over DORA's body.

RONALD
Be careful, Spongebob. It could be a trick.

SPONGEBOB
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Dora The destroyer is dead!

SPONGEBOB
What?

SPONGEBOB
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

RONALD claps his hands.

RONALD
So your popcorn did save the day, after all.

GRINCH steps forward.

GRINCH
Is it true? Did you kill the destructive An explorer?

SPONGEBOB
Grinch how long have you been...?

GRINCH puts her arm around SPONGEBOB.

GRINCH
Long enough.

SPONGEBOB
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Dora The destroyer.

GRINCH
Then the Potatoes are safe?

SPONGEBOB
It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable Potatoes enter, looking relived.

GRINCH
You are their hero.

The Potatoes bow to SPONGEBOB.

SPONGEBOB
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Dora The destroyer will never Take exploring Potatoes ever again, is enough for me.

GRINCH
You are humble as well as brave!

One of the Potatoes passes SPONGEBOB a smelly a sock

GRINCH
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

SPONGEBOB
I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

SPONGEBOB
Well, if you insist.

SPONGEBOB takes the a sock.

SPONGEBOB
Thank you.

The Potatoes bow their heads once more, and leave.

SPONGEBOB turns to GRINCH.

SPONGEBOB
Does this mean you want me back?

GRINCH
Oh, Spongebob, of course I want you back!

SPONGEBOB smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

SPONGEBOB
Well you can't have me.

GRINCH
WHAT?

SPONGEBOB
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a An explorer to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

GRINCH
But...

SPONGEBOB
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Ronald.

RONALD grins.

GRINCH
But...

RONALD
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

GRINCH
Spongebob?

SPONGEBOB
I'm sorry Grinch, but I think you should skidaddle.

GRINCH leaves.

RONALD turns to SPONGEBOB.

RONALD
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

SPONGEBOB
Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly RONALD stops.

RONALD
When I said I'm afraid of the curling iron, you know I was just trying to distract the An explorer don't you?

THE END