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Sinister Vampire

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Sinister Vampire

A Screenplay by C. S. Palessa

EXT. MISTY CITY - AFTERNOON

Kind teacher MISS WENNA PLUMB is arguing with down to earth Policewoman DCI HEATHER WALKER. WENNA tries to hug HEATHER but she shakes her off.

WENNA
Please Heather, don't leave me.

HEATHER
I'm sorry Wenna, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.

WENNA
I am such a person!

HEATHER frowns.

HEATHER
I'm sorry, Wenna. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

HEATHER leaves.

WENNA sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, courageous doctor MR CASPER PARKER barges in looking flustered.

WENNA
Goodness, Casper! Is everything okay?

CASPER
I'm afraid not.

WENNA
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

CASPER
It's ... a vampire ... I saw an evil vampire attack a bunch of babies!

WENNA
Defenseless babies?

CASPER
Yes, defenseless babies!

WENNA
Bloomin' heck, Casper! We've got to do something.

CASPER
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

WENNA
You can start by telling me where this happened.

CASPER
I was...

CASPER fans himself and begins to wheeze.

WENNA
Focus Casper, focus! Where did it happen?

CASPER
Mall! That's right - Mall!

WENNA springs up and begins to run.


EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

WENNA rushes along the street, followed by CASPER. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.


INT. MALL - SHORTLY AFTER

MAUD SWEET a sinister vampire terrorises two babies.

WENNA, closely followed by CASPER, rushes towards MAUD, but suddenly stops in her tracks.

CASPER
What is is? What's the matter?

WENNA
That's not just any old vampire, that's Maud Sweet!

CASPER
Who's Maud Sweet?

WENNA
Who's Maud Sweet? Who's Maud Sweet? Only the most sinister vampire in the universe!

CASPER
Blinkin' knickers, Wenna! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most sinister vampire in the universe!

WENNA
You can say that again.

CASPER
Blinkin' knickers, Wenna! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most sinister vampire in the universe!

WENNA
I'm going to need stake, lots of stake.

Maud turns and sees Wenna and Casper. She grins an evil grin.

MAUD
Wenna Plumb, we meet again.

CASPER
You've met?

WENNA
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...


EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young WENNA is sitting in a park listening to some piano music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over her.

She looks up and sees MAUD. She takes off her headphones.

MAUD
Would you like some peppermints?

WENNA's eyes light up, but then he studies MAUD more closely, and looks uneasy.

WENNA
I don't know, you look kind of sinister.

MAUD
Me? No. I'm not sinister. I'm the least sinister vampire in the world.

WENNA
Wait, you're a vampire?

WENNA runs away, screaming.


INT. MALL - PRESENT DAY

MAUD
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

CASPER
(To WENNA) You ran away?

WENNA
(To CASPER) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

WENNA turns to MAUD.

WENNA
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

WENNA runs away.

She turns back and shouts.

WENNA
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with stake.

MAUD
I'm not scared of you.

WENNA
You should be.


INT. PASSENGER JET - LATER THAT DAY

WENNA and CASPER walk around searching for something.

WENNA
I feel sure I left my stake somewhere around here.

CASPER
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly stake.

WENNA
You know nothing Casper Parker.

CASPER
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, MAUD appears, holding a pair of stake.

MAUD
Looking for something?

CASPER
Crikey, Wenna, she's got your stake.

WENNA
Tell me something I don't already know!

CASPER
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

WENNA
I know that already!

CASPER
I'm afraid of dust.

MAUD
(appalled) Dude!

While MAUD is looking at CASPER with disgust, WENNA lunges forward and grabs her deadly stake. He wields them, triumphantly.

WENNA
Prepare to die, you sinister sprout!

MAUD
No please! All I did was attack a bunch of babies!

HEATHER enters, unseen by any of the others.

WENNA
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those babies were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Wenna Plumb defender of innocent babies.

MAUD
Don't hurt me! Please!

WENNA
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these stake on you right away!

MAUD
Because Wenna, I am your mother.

WENNA looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects herself.

WENNA
No you're not!

MAUD
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

MAUD tries to grab the stake but WENNA dodges out of the way.

WENNA
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, MAUD slumps to the ground.

CASPER
Did she just faint?

WENNA
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly stake.

WENNA crouches over MAUD's body.

CASPER
Be careful, Wenna. It could be a trick.

WENNA
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Maud Sweet is dead!

WENNA
What?

WENNA
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.

CASPER claps his hands.

CASPER
So your stake did save the day, after all.

HEATHER steps forward.

HEATHER
Is it true? Did you kill the sinister vampire?

WENNA
Heather how long have you been...?

HEATHER puts her arm around WENNA.

HEATHER
Long enough.

WENNA
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Maud Sweet.

HEATHER
Then the babies are safe?

WENNA
It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable babies enter, looking relived.

HEATHER
You are their hero.

The babies bow to WENNA.

WENNA
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Maud Sweet will never attack babies ever again, is enough for me.

HEATHER
You are humble as well as brave!

One of the babies passes WENNA a shiny ring

HEATHER
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

WENNA
I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

WENNA
Well, if you insist.

WENNA takes the ring.

WENNA
Thank you.

The babies bow their heads once more, and leave.

WENNA turns to HEATHER.

WENNA
Does this mean you want me back?

HEATHER
Oh, Wenna, of course I want you back!

WENNA smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

WENNA
Well you can't have me.

HEATHER
WHAT?

WENNA
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a vampire to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

HEATHER
But...

WENNA
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Casper.

CASPER grins.

HEATHER
But...

CASPER
You heard the lady. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

HEATHER
Wenna?

WENNA
I'm sorry Heather, but I think you should skidaddle.

HEATHER leaves.

CASPER turns to WENNA.

CASPER
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

WENNA
Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly CASPER stops.

CASPER
When I said I'm afraid of dust, you know I was just trying to distract the vampire don't you?

THE END



Created on 10th June 2016.





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