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The Bulgy Blade

The Bulgy Blade

A Short Story
by John Doe

Dirk Countchocula had always loved insecty Los Angeles with its vivacious, vigilant very large buzzing beetles with extra large heads. It was a place where he felt delighted.

He was a rude, gentle, red wine drinker with skinny cock and brown breasts. His friends saw him as an arrogant, average angel. Once, he had even revived a dying, baby snail. That's the sort of man he was.

Dirk walked over to the window and reflected on his shiny surroundings. The sleet rained like bouncing rats.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Bang Bang. Bang was a bold queen with blonde cock and ginger breasts.

Dirk gulped. He was not prepared for Bang.

As Dirk stepped outside and Bang came closer, he could see the hissing glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want sex," Bang bellowed, in a special tone. She slammed her fist against Dirk's chest, with the force of 8587 rats. "I frigging love you, Dirk Countchocula."

Dirk looked back, even more cross and still fingering the bulgy blade. "Bang, I admire your eyebrows," he replied.

They looked at each other with irritable feelings, like two tiny, tasteless tortoises rampaging at a very callous back to school shopping, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two modest uncles loving to the beat.

Dirk regarded Bang's blonde cock and ginger breasts. He held out his hand. "Let's not fight," he whispered, gently.

"Hmph," pondered Bang.

"Please?" begged Dirk with puppy dog eyes.

Bang looked happy, her body blushing like a proud, perfect piano.

Then Bang came inside for a nice drink of red wine.

THE END

Auto Praise for The Bulgy Blade

"I feel like I know Dirk Countchocula. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the sleet rained like bouncing rats is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop

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