Noisy Bangkok

Morwenna Ramsbottom looked at the solid sausage in her hands and felt worried.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her creepy surroundings. She had always loved noisy Bangkok with its zany, zealous zoos. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel worried.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Molly Barker. Molly was a snooty bear with wobbly fingers and moist eyes.

Morwenna gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a tight-fisted, wild, squash drinker with sticky fingers and fluffy eyes. Her friends saw her as a vast, vacant volcano. Once, she had even helped a nosy puppy cross the road.

But not even a tight-fisted person who had once helped a nosy puppy cross the road, was prepared for what Molly had in store today.

The drizzle rained like bouncing goldfish, making Morwenna irritable.

As Morwenna stepped outside and Molly came closer, she could see the bored glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want Internet access," Molly bellowed, in a lovable tone. She slammed her fist against Morwenna's chest, with the force of 3888 donkeys. "I frigging love you, Morwenna Ramsbottom."

Morwenna looked back, even more irritable and still fingering the solid sausage. "Molly, I'm in love with you," she replied.

They looked at each other with ecstatic feelings, like two repulsive, rapid rats gyrating at a very cowardly wedding, which had jazz music playing in the background and two sympathetic uncles rampaging to the beat.

Suddenly, Molly lunged forward and tried to punch Morwenna in the face. Quickly, Morwenna grabbed the solid sausage and brought it down on Molly's skull.

Molly's wobbly fingers trembled and her moist eyes wobbled. She looked barmy, her body raw like a grieving, glorious guillotine.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Molly Barker was dead.

Morwenna Ramsbottom went back inside and made herself a nice beaker of squash.