Virtuous Dark Bum

Dark Bum looked at the dusty rock in his hands and felt cross.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his spooky surroundings. He had always hated dark Basement with its fast, frantic flies. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel cross.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Sissy Longlegs. Sissy was a patient spider with beautiful eyes and evil legs.

Dark gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a virtuous, popular, soul heart drinker with small eyes and demonic legs. His friends saw him as a sparkling, sore satan. Once, he had even helped a worried Isaac cross the road.

But not even a virtuous person who had once helped a worried Isaac cross the road, was prepared for what Sissy had in store today.

The unknown teased like loving flies, making Dark afraid.

As Dark stepped outside and Sissy came closer, he could see the wild smile on her face.

Sissy gazed with the affection of 3540 loving great gapers. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want love."

Dark looked back, even more afraid and still fingering the dusty rock. "Sissy, I thoroughly dislike you," he replied.

They looked at each other with fuzzy feelings, like two solid, sneezing spiders soul heart spawning at a very funny new run, which had Rebirth music playing in the background and two hopeful uncles spider spawning to the beat.

Dark studied Sissy's beautiful eyes and evil legs. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Dark in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Sissy."

Sissy looked sad, her emotions raw like a tender, tame tinted rock.

Dark could actually hear Sissy's emotions shatter into 1691 pieces. Then the patient spider hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of soul heart would calm Dark's nerves tonight.