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Two Sadistic Uncles Stabbing to the BeatThis is a stock cover image. We regularly add new custom covers so come back tomorrow to see if we've made one for you.

Two Sadistic Uncles Stabbing to the Beat

A Short Story
by F.P. Fast-Fist

Max Manhood looked at the hard samurai sword in his hands and felt murderous.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his lonely surroundings. He had always hated cold Manchuria with its thundering, tender trees. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel murderous.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Rei Nakamura. Rei was a sick lovely with gaunt legs and muscular arms.

Max gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an unflinching, coldhearted, scotch drinker with broad-shouldered legs and tall arms. His friends saw him as a puny, perfect psycho. Once, he had even revived a dying, kitten.

But not even an unflinching person who had once revived a dying, kitten, was prepared for what Rei had in store today.

The snow flurried like killing tigers, making Max punchy.

As Max stepped outside and Rei came closer, he could see the joyous glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want revenge," Rei bellowed, in a calculating tone. She slammed her fist against Max's chest, with the force of 3610 wolves. "I frigging love you, Max Manhood."

Max looked back, even more punchy and still fingering the hard samurai sword. "Rei, I killed everyone you love," he replied.

They looked at each other with stabby feelings, like two brave, bloody bears punching at a very twisted funeral, which had metal music playing in the background and two sadistic uncles stabbing to the beat.

Max studied Rei's gaunt legs and muscular arms. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you revenge," he explained, in pitying tones.

Rei looked deadly, her body raw like a glamorous, grieving gun.

Max could actually hear Rei's body shatter into 8818 pieces. Then the sick lovely hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of scotch would calm Max's nerves tonight.

THE END

Created on 19th July 2016.

Auto Praise for Two Sadistic Uncles Stabbing to the Beat

"I feel like I know Max Manhood. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the snow flurried like killing tigers is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop




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