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This is a stock cover image. We regularly add new custom covers so come back tomorrow to see if we've made one for you.Demonic Alien
A Screenplay by some peopleINT. SORIENTH - AFTERNOON
Smart dragon god DEITY THE ARCANIST SPACEY is arguing with charming dragon god DEIRY FLAMECALLER FLAREY. THE ARCANIST tries to hug FLAMECALLER but she shakes him off.
Please Flamecaller, don't leave me.
I'm sorry The Arcanist, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
I am such a person!
FLAMECALLER frowns.
I'm sorry, The Arcanist. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
FLAMECALLER leaves.
THE ARCANIST sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, intelligent dragon god DEITY LIGHTWEAVER GLITTER barges in looking flustered.
Goodness, Lightweaver! Is everything okay?
I'm afraid not.
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien kill a bunch of elderly dragon ladies!
Defenseless elderly dragon ladies?
Yes, defenseless elderly dragon ladies!
Bloomin' heck, Lightweaver! We've got to do something.
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
You can start by telling me where this happened.
I was...
LIGHTWEAVER fans herself and begins to wheeze.
Focus Lightweaver, focus! Where did it happen?
The Wyrmwound! That's right - The Wyrmwound!
THE ARCANIST springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
THE ARCANIST rushes along the street, followed by LIGHTWEAVER. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. THE WYRMWOUND - SHORTLY AFTER
THE SHADE VOIDEY a demonic alien terrorises two elderly dragon ladies.
THE ARCANIST, closely followed by LIGHTWEAVER, rushes towards THE SHADE, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
What is is? What's the matter?
That's not just any old alien, that's The Shade Voidey!
Who's The Shade Voidey?
Who's The Shade Voidey? Who's The Shade Voidey? Only the most demonic alien in the universe!
Blinkin' knickers, The Arcanist! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most demonic alien in the universe!
You can say that again.
Blinkin' knickers, The Arcanist! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most demonic alien in the universe!
I'm going to need spears, lots of spears.
The Shade turns and sees The Arcanist and Lightweaver. He grins an evil grin.
The Arcanist Spacey, we meet again.
You've met?
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young THE ARCANIST is sitting in a park listening to some jazz music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees THE SHADE. He takes off his headphones.
Would you like some lollipop?
THE ARCANIST's eyes light up, but then he studies THE SHADE more closely, and looks uneasy.
I don't know, you look kind of demonic.
Me? No. I'm not demonic. I'm the least demonic alien in the world.
Wait, you're a alien?
THE ARCANIST runs away, screaming.
INT. THE WYRMWOUND - PRESENT DAY
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
(To THE ARCANIST) You ran away?
(To LIGHTWEAVER) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
THE ARCANIST turns to THE SHADE.
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
THE ARCANIST runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with spears.
I'm not scared of you.
You should be.
INT. SPACE - LATER THAT DAY
THE ARCANIST and LIGHTWEAVER walk around searching for something.
I feel sure I left my spears somewhere around here.
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly spears.
You know nothing Lightweaver Glitter.
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, THE SHADE appears, holding a pair of spears.
Looking for something?
Crikey, The Arcanist, he's got your spears.
Tell me something I don't already know!
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
I know that already!
I pickle my earwax and keep it in a jar under my bed.
(appalled) Dude!
While THE SHADE is looking at LIGHTWEAVER with disgust, THE ARCANIST lunges forward and grabs his deadly spears. He wields them, triumphantly.
Prepare to die, you demonic parsnip!
No please! All I did was kill a bunch of elderly dragon ladies!
FLAMECALLER enters, unseen by any of the others.
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those elderly dragon ladies were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! The Arcanist Spacey defender of innocent elderly dragon ladies.
Don't hurt me! Please!
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these spears on you right away!
Because The Arcanist, I am your father.
THE ARCANIST looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
No you're not!
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
THE SHADE tries to grab the spears but THE ARCANIST dodges out of the way.
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, THE SHADE slumps to the ground.
Did he just faint?
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly spears.
THE ARCANIST crouches over THE SHADE's body.
Be careful, The Arcanist. It could be a trick.
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... The Shade Voidey is dead!
What?
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
LIGHTWEAVER claps her hands.
So your spears did save the day, after all.
FLAMECALLER steps forward.
Is it true? Did you kill the demonic alien?
Flamecaller how long have you been...?
FLAMECALLER puts her arm around THE ARCANIST.
Long enough.
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed The Shade Voidey.
Then the elderly dragon ladies are safe?
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable elderly dragon ladies enter, looking relived.
You are their hero.
The elderly dragon ladies bow to THE ARCANIST.
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that The Shade Voidey will never kill elderly dragon ladies ever again, is enough for me.
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the elderly dragon ladies passes THE ARCANIST a magical runestone
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
Well, if you insist.
THE ARCANIST takes the runestone.
Thank you.
The elderly dragon ladies bow their heads once more, and leave.
THE ARCANIST turns to FLAMECALLER.
Does this mean you want me back?
Oh, The Arcanist, of course I want you back!
THE ARCANIST smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
Well you can't have me.
WHAT?
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
But...
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Lightweaver.
LIGHTWEAVER grins.
But...
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
The Arcanist?
I'm sorry Flamecaller, but I think you should skidaddle.
FLAMECALLER leaves.
LIGHTWEAVER turns to THE ARCANIST.
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly LIGHTWEAVER stops.
When I said I pickle my earwax and keep it in a jar under my bed, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
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