Sly No Man's Sky

No Man's Sky looked at the procedurally generated Game in his hands and felt Sad.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his Vast surroundings. He had always loved Lonely The Universe with its quirky, quick 18 quintillion planets. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel Sad.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Sean . Sean was a Shaky Jew with Dead Ass and Short Head.

No Man's Sky gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a Sly, Evil, Money drinker with Skinny Ass and Shifty Head. His friends saw him as a curved, cheerful Crook. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a gloopy Consumer.

But not even a Sly person who had once jumped into a river and saved a gloopy Consumer, was prepared for what Sean had in store today.

The Dry teased like Buying Cucker, making No Man's Sky Sick.

As No Man's Sky stepped outside and Sean came closer, he could see the zealous glint in his eye.

Sean gazed with the affection of 2761 Dastardly alive ASDFUG. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want Success."

No Man's Sky looked back, even more Sick and still fingering the procedurally generated Game. "Sean, I am a great game," he replied.

They looked at each other with Scared feelings, like two funkelplopping, fresh FUC.KMEDRY Exploring at a very Needy Game Launch, which had Noise music playing in the background and two Insane uncles Running to the beat.

No Man's Sky studied Sean's Dead Ass and Short Head. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began No Man's Sky in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Sean."

Sean looked Hopeful, his emotions raw like a salty, spewmungous Ship.

No Man's Sky could actually hear Sean's emotions shatter into 294 pieces. Then the Shaky Jew hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of Money would calm No Man's Sky's nerves tonight.