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This is a stock cover image. We regularly add new custom covers so come back tomorrow to see if we've made one for you.Creepy Unique Gamer
A Screenplay by ;)EXT. DE_DUST2 - AFTERNOON
Nerdy ex web developer SIR SYCHO POTATO is arguing with bold co-owner SIR REDWOLF NERD. SYCHO tries to hug REDWOLF but he shakes him off.
Please RedWolf, don't leave me.
I'm sorry Sycho, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
I am such a person!
REDWOLF frowns.
I'm sorry, Sycho. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
REDWOLF leaves.
SYCHO sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, gay ex forum moderator SIR REFRESH PRINGLES barges in looking flustered.
Goodness, Refresh! Is everything okay?
I'm afraid not.
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
It's ... an unique gamer ... I saw an evil unique gamer PM a bunch of jailbreak players!
Defenseless jailbreak players?
Yes, defenseless jailbreak players!
Bloomin' heck, Refresh! We've got to do something.
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
You can start by telling me where this happened.
I was...
REFRESH fans himself and begins to wheeze.
Focus Refresh, focus! Where did it happen?
Ambrosia Forum! That's right - Ambrosia Forum!
SYCHO springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
SYCHO rushes along the street, followed by REFRESH. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. AMBROSIA FORUM - SHORTLY AFTER
KOLLOZ KOLLOZ a creepy unique gamer terrorises two jailbreak players.
SYCHO, closely followed by REFRESH, rushes towards KOLLOZ, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
What is is? What's the matter?
That's not just any old unique gamer, that's Kolloz kOlloz!
Who's Kolloz kOlloz?
Who's Kolloz kOlloz? Who's Kolloz kOlloz? Only the most creepy unique gamer in the universe!
Blinkin' knickers, Sycho! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most creepy unique gamer in the universe!
You can say that again.
Blinkin' knickers, Sycho! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most creepy unique gamer in the universe!
I'm going to need warnings, lots of warnings.
Kolloz turns and sees Sycho and Refresh. He grins an evil grin.
Sycho Potato, we meet again.
You've met?
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young SYCHO is sitting in a park listening to some shoutbox sound music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees KOLLOZ. He takes off his headphones.
Would you like some likes?
SYCHO's eyes light up, but then he studies KOLLOZ more closely, and looks uneasy.
I don't know, you look kind of creepy.
Me? No. I'm not creepy. I'm the least creepy unique gamer in the world.
Wait, you're a unique gamer?
SYCHO runs away, screaming.
INT. AMBROSIA FORUM - PRESENT DAY
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
(To SYCHO) You ran away?
(To REFRESH) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
SYCHO turns to KOLLOZ.
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
SYCHO runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with warnings.
I'm not scared of you.
You should be.
INT. SOMEWHERE IN JB_SNOW - LATER THAT DAY
SYCHO and REFRESH walk around searching for something.
I feel sure I left my warnings somewhere around here.
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly warnings.
You know nothing Refresh Pringles.
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, KOLLOZ appears, holding a pair of warnings.
Looking for something?
Crikey, Sycho, he's got your warnings.
Tell me something I don't already know!
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
I know that already!
-rep for dave.
(appalled) Dude!
While KOLLOZ is looking at REFRESH with disgust, SYCHO lunges forward and grabs his deadly warnings. He wields them, triumphantly.
Prepare to die, you creepy keyboard fighter!
No please! All I did was PM a bunch of jailbreak players!
REDWOLF enters, unseen by any of the others.
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those jailbreak players were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Sycho Potato defender of innocent jailbreak players.
Don't hurt me! Please!
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these warnings on you right away!
Because Sycho, I am your father.
SYCHO looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
No you're not!
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
KOLLOZ tries to grab the warnings but SYCHO dodges out of the way.
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, KOLLOZ slumps to the ground.
Did he just faint?
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly warnings.
SYCHO crouches over KOLLOZ's body.
Be careful, Sycho. It could be a trick.
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Kolloz kOlloz is dead!
What?
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
REFRESH claps his hands.
So your warnings did save the day, after all.
REDWOLF steps forward.
Is it true? Did you kill the creepy unique gamer?
RedWolf how long have you been...?
REDWOLF puts his arm around SYCHO.
Long enough.
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Kolloz kOlloz.
Then the jailbreak players are safe?
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable jailbreak players enter, looking relived.
You are their hero.
The jailbreak players bow to SYCHO.
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Kolloz kOlloz will never PM jailbreak players ever again, is enough for me.
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the jailbreak players passes SYCHO an almighty award
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
Well, if you insist.
SYCHO takes the award.
Thank you.
The jailbreak players bow their heads once more, and leave.
SYCHO turns to REDWOLF.
Does this mean you want me back?
Oh, Sycho, of course I want you back!
SYCHO smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
Well you can't have me.
WHAT?
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a unique gamer to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
But...
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Refresh.
REFRESH grins.
But...
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
Sycho?
I'm sorry RedWolf, but I think you should skidaddle.
REDWOLF leaves.
REFRESH turns to SYCHO.
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly REFRESH stops.
When I said -rep for dave, you know I was just trying to distract the unique gamer don't you?
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