The Sun that Shone like Climbing Monkeys

Pinky TheIceAxe looked at the abominable emoji in his hands and felt enraged.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his wretched surroundings. He had always loved lawless Kansas with its curried, clever cliffs. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel enraged.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Kevin TheMountainGoat. Kevin was a devout devil with unlovely feet and tall ears.

Pinky gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a flaky, unpredictable, bourbon drinker with stout feet and handsome ears. His friends saw him as a rabblesnatching, raspy rock. Once, he had even saved a jolly wildflower that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a flaky person who had once saved a jolly wildflower that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Kevin had in store today.

The sun shone like climbing monkeys, making Pinky crazyeyed.

As Pinky stepped outside and Kevin came closer, he could see the combative smile on his face.

"I am here because I want a phone number," Kevin bellowed, in a sincere tone. He slammed his fist against Pinky's chest, with the force of 380 bloggers. "I frigging love you, Pinky TheIceAxe."

Pinky looked back, even more crazyeyed and still fingering the abominable emoji. "Kevin, flip you, Kevin," he replied.

They looked at each other with hopeful feelings, like two helpful, hurt hamburgers skijoring at a very hardworking camping trip, which had rapcore music playing in the background and two violent uncles glissading to the beat.

Suddenly, Kevin lunged forward and tried to punch Pinky in the face. Quickly, Pinky grabbed the abominable emoji and brought it down on Kevin's skull.

Kevin's unlovely feet trembled and his tall ears wobbled. He looked slaphappy, his body raw like a charming, cooperative curator.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Kevin TheMountainGoat was dead.

Pinky TheIceAxe went back inside and made himself a nice drink of bourbon.