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The Curse of the Warped Newspaper

The Curse of the Warped Newspaper

A Horror Story
by Dove Windsor

Whilst investigating the death of a local shopkeeper, a gentle author called Clarke DeVito uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, warped newspaper circulating throughout Africa. As soon as anyone uses the newspaper, he or she has exactly 75 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look mirrored. A marked person feels like a wicked snake to touch.

Clarke gets hold of the newspaper, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a noisy flamingo balancing on a chilly shopkeeper, an old newspaper headline about a fang accident, a hooded aardvark ranting about feet and a drinking well located in an industrial place.

When Clarke notices his toenails have snake-like properties, he realises that the curse of the warped newspaper is true and calls in his friend, a gardener called Clarke Humble, to help.

Clarke examines the newspaper and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the noisy flamingo balancing on a chilly shopkeeper particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Clarke and Clarke pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded aardvark. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

Created on 30th August 2021.

Auto Praise for The Curse of the Warped Newspaper

"This is actually pretty scary. I'll never be able to look at another warped newspaper for as long as I live."
- The Daily Tale
"Oh please! There's nothing scary about a noisy flamingo balancing on a chilly shopkeeper. Are we supposed to feel spooked?"
- Enid Kibbler
"The hooded aardvark really freaked me out."
- Hit the Spoof
"I hope Clarke and Clarke get married."
- Zob Gloop

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