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The Enchanted Teapot

The Enchanted Teapot

A Short Story
by CS Palessa

Ocean Willis looked at the enchanted teapot in her hands and felt confident.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her snooty surroundings. She had always loved magical Camborne with its numerous, nice nooks. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel confident.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Polly Connor. Polly was a clever queen with grubby fingernails and wide toes.

Ocean gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was an intelligent, forgetful, beer drinker with spiky fingernails and sloppy toes. Her friends saw her as a violet, vigilant volcano. Once, she had even revived a dying, old man.

But not even an intelligent person who had once revived a dying, old man, was prepared for what Polly had in store today.

The moon shone like sitting rats, making Ocean barmy.

As Ocean stepped outside and Polly came closer, she could see the wide-eyed smile on her face.

"I am here because I want some more Facebook friends," Polly bellowed, in a cowardly tone. She slammed her fist against Ocean's chest, with the force of 103 puppies. "I frigging love you, Ocean Willis."

Ocean looked back, even more barmy and still fingering the enchanted teapot. "Polly, Is that real leather," she replied.

They looked at each other with stable feelings, like two homeless, hungry humming birds chatting at a very remarkable Valentine's meal, which had classical music playing in the background and two creepy uncles eating to the beat.

Suddenly, Polly lunged forward and tried to punch Ocean in the face. Quickly, Ocean grabbed the enchanted teapot and brought it down on Polly's skull.

Polly's grubby fingernails trembled and her wide toes wobbled. She looked angry, her body raw like a hard, handsome hat.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Polly Connor was dead.

Ocean Willis went back inside and made herself a nice drink of beer.


Created on 11th June 2016.

Auto Praise for The Enchanted Teapot

"I feel like I know Ocean Willis. In a way, it feels as though I've always known her."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the moon shone like sitting rats is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop

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