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Two Smart Uncles Jogging to the Beat

Two Smart Uncles Jogging to the Beat

A Short Story
by sanne

Mildred Donaldson was thinking about Zach Greenway again. Zach was a brave knight with grubby fingernails and beautiful legs.

Mildred walked over to the window and reflected on her crowded surroundings. She had always loved cold Amsterdam with its crooked, cooperative canals. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel anxious.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a brave figure of Zach Greenway.

Mildred gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a stable, cowardly, tea drinker with charming fingernails and moist legs. Her friends saw her as a moaning, massive manager. Once, she had even brought a grieving toddler back from the brink of death.

But not even a stable person who had once brought a grieving toddler back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Zach had in store today.

The rain hammered like boating snakes, making Mildred concerned. Mildred grabbed a giant hat that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Mildred stepped outside and Zach came closer, she could see the pickled glint in his eye.

"Look Mildred," growled Zach, with a patient glare that reminded Mildred of brave mice. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want affection. You owe me 2470 euros."

Mildred looked back, even more concerned and still fingering the giant hat. "Zach, I just don't need you in my life any more," she replied.

They looked at each other with lonely feelings, like two kaleidoscopic, knowledgeable kittens rampaging at a very hopeful funeral, which had flute music playing in the background and two smart uncles jogging to the beat.

Mildred studied Zach's grubby fingernails and beautiful legs. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Mildred. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected Zach. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Mildred. "Now get your grubby fingernails out of here before I hit you with this giant hat."

Zach looked ambivalent, his wallet raw like a shiny, smiling sandwich.

Mildred could actually hear Zach's wallet shatter into 2470 pieces. Then the brave knight hurried away into the distance.

Not even a cup of tea would calm Mildred's nerves tonight.


Created on 18th March 2019.

Auto Praise for Two Smart Uncles Jogging to the Beat

"I feel like I know Mildred Donaldson. In a way, it feels as though I've always known her."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the rain hammered like boating snakes is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop


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