Mo Bishop and the Five Hairy Maggots

Once upon a time there was a adorable boy called Mo Bishop. He was on the way to see his Suzanne Jones, when he decided to take a short cut through Bogstaple Woods.

It wasn't long before Mo got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Miss Piggy, but Miss Piggy was nowhere to be found! Mo began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Miss Piggy. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, he saw a hairy maggot dressed in a green pinafore disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Mo.

For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed maggot. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Mo reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from broccoli florets, a house made from crisps, a house made from crisps, a house made from chips, a house made from doughnuts and a house made from crisps.

Mo could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.

"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Mo looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Mo a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Miss Piggy!

"Miss Piggy!" shouted Mo. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Miss Piggy back!" cried Mo.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Miss Piggy out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, five hairy maggots rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Mo recognised the one in the green pinafore that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Maggot," said the witch.

"Good morning." The maggot noticed Miss Piggy. "Who is this?"

"That's Miss Piggy," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Miss Piggy would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the maggot.

The witch shook her head. "Miss Piggy is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Mo interrupted. "Miss Piggy lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Maggot ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Maggot looked at the house made from crisps and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from crisps if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next maggot. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Miss Piggy."

Mo watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Miss Piggy to Big Maggot. He didn't think Miss Piggy would like living with a hairy maggot, away from his house and all his other toys.

The other four maggots watched while Big Maggot put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Maggot. "Just you watch!"

Big Maggot pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Maggot started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of crisps, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Maggot.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Maggot never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Maggot stepped up, and approached the house made from crisps.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Maggot. "Just you watch!"

Average Maggot pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Maggot started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a maggot!" said Average Maggot.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Maggot, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the maggot away under his arm.

Average Maggot never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Maggot stepped up, and approached the house made from chips.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Maggot. "Just you watch!"

Little Maggot pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chips. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Maggot started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating chips for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Maggot into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Maggot. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Maggot was never seen again.

Little Maggot never finished eating the front door made from chips and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Tiny Maggot stepped up, and approached the house made from doughnuts.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Maggot. "Just you watch!"

Tiny Maggot pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from doughnuts. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Maggot's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of doughnuts, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.

"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Maggot, and stomped off into the forest.

Tiny Maggot never finished eating the front door made from doughnuts and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Even-Tinier Maggot stepped up, and approached the house made from crisps.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Maggot. "Just you watch!"

Even-Tinier Maggot pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Suddenly, Even-Tinier Maggot stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Crisps! Watch me eat all the crisps!"

"It looks as though the crisps are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.

"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Maggot. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.

Bong!

Even-Tinier Maggot banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.

Even-Tinier Maggot never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Miss Piggy."

"Not so fast," said Mo. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from broccoli florets. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the maggots. He won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Mo.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Miss Piggy back."

Mo ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from broccoli florets and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.

Mo sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Mo. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Mo's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from broccoli florets. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Mo was down to the final piece of the door made from broccoli florets. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Mo had eaten the entire front door of the house made from broccoli florets.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Miss Piggy or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Mo hurried over and grabbed Miss Piggy, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Miss Piggy was unharmed.

Mo thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Suzanne. It was starting to get dark.

When Mo got to Suzanne's house, his threw her arms around him.

"I was so worried!" cried Suzanne. "You are very late."

As Mo described his day, he could tell that Suzanne didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.

"What's that?" asked Suzanne.

Mo unwrapped a doorknob made from crisps. "Pudding!" he said.

Suzanne almost fell off her chair.

The End