Flora Snozcumber and the Two Grumpy Donkeys

Once upon a time there was a pretty girl called Flora Snozcumber. She was on the way to see her Flora Bogtrotter, when she decided to take a short cut through Idless Woods.

It wasn't long before Flora got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Donkey, but Donkey was nowhere to be found! Flora began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Donkey. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, she saw a grumpy donkey dressed in a yellow jumper disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Flora.

For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed donkey. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Flora reached a clearing. In the clearing were three houses, one made from aubergines, one made from cupcakes and one made from pizzas.

Flora could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.

"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Flora looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Flora a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Donkey!

"Donkey!" shouted Flora. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Donkey back!" cried Flora.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Donkey out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, two grumpy donkeys rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Flora recognised the one in the yellow jumper that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Donkey," said the witch.

"Good morning." The donkey noticed Donkey. "Who is this?"

"That's Donkey," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Donkey would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the donkey.

The witch shook her head. "Donkey is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Flora interrupted. "Donkey lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Donkey ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Donkey looked at the house made from pizzas and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from pizzas if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next donkey. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Donkey."

Flora watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Donkey to Big Donkey. She didn't think Donkey would like living with a grumpy donkey, away from her house and all her other toys.

The other one donkeys watched while Big Donkey put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Donkey. "Just you watch!"

Big Donkey pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cupcakes. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Donkey started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of cupcakes, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Donkey.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Donkey never finished eating the front door made from cupcakes and Donkey remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Donkey. "Just you watch!"

Average Donkey pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pizzas. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Donkey started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a donkey!" said Average Donkey.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Donkey, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the donkey away under his arm.

Average Donkey never finished eating the front door made from pizzas and Donkey remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Donkey."

"Not so fast," said Flora. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from aubergines. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the donkeys. She won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Flora.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Donkey back."

Flora ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from aubergines and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.

Flora sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Flora. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Flora's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from aubergines. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Flora was down to the final piece of the door made from aubergines. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Flora had eaten the entire front door of the house made from aubergines.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Donkey or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Flora hurried over and grabbed Donkey, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Donkey was unharmed.

Flora thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Flora. It was starting to get dark.

When Flora got to Flora's house, her threw her arms around her.

"I was so worried!" cried Flora. "You are very late."

As Flora described her day, she could tell that Flora didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.

"What's that?" asked Flora.

Flora unwrapped a doorknob made from cupcakes. "Pudding!" she said.

Flora almost fell off her chair.

The End