Michelle Vader and the Four Scruffy Rabbits

Once upon a time there was a delightful girl called Michelle Vader. She was on the way to see her John Fish, when she decided to take a short cut through Gurglebridge.

It wasn't long before Michelle got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Terrance the Moose, but Terrance the Moose was nowhere to be found! Michelle began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Terrance the Moose. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, she saw a scruffy rabbit dressed in a pink coat disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Michelle.

For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed rabbit. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Michelle reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from sprouts, a house made from humbugs, a house made from crisps, a house made from crisps and a house made from toffees.

Michelle could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.

"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Michelle looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Michelle a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Terrance the Moose!

"Terrance the Moose!" shouted Michelle. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Terrance the Moose back!" cried Michelle.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Terrance the Moose out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, four scruffy rabbits rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Michelle recognised the one in the pink coat that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Rabbit," said the witch.

"Good morning." The rabbit noticed Terrance the Moose. "Who is this?"

"That's Terrance the Moose," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Terrance the Moose would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the rabbit.

The witch shook her head. "Terrance the Moose is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Michelle interrupted. "Terrance the Moose lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Rabbit ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Rabbit looked at the house made from toffees and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from toffees if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next rabbit. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Terrance the Moose."

Michelle watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Terrance the Moose to Big Rabbit. She didn't think Terrance the Moose would like living with a scruffy rabbit, away from her house and all her other toys.

The other three rabbits watched while Big Rabbit put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Rabbit. "Just you watch!"

Big Rabbit pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from humbugs. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Rabbit started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of humbugs, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Rabbit.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Rabbit never finished eating the front door made from humbugs and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Rabbit stepped up, and approached the house made from crisps.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Rabbit. "Just you watch!"

Average Rabbit pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Rabbit started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a rabbit!" said Average Rabbit.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Rabbit, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the rabbit away under his arm.

Average Rabbit never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Rabbit stepped up, and approached the house made from crisps.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Rabbit. "Just you watch!"

Little Rabbit pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Rabbit started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating crisps for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Rabbit into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Rabbit. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Rabbit was never seen again.

Little Rabbit never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Tiny Rabbit stepped up, and approached the house made from toffees.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Rabbit. "Just you watch!"

Tiny Rabbit pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Rabbit's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of toffees, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.

"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Rabbit, and stomped off into the forest.

Tiny Rabbit never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Terrance the Moose."

"Not so fast," said Michelle. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from sprouts. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the rabbits. She won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Michelle.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Terrance the Moose back."

Michelle ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from sprouts and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.

Michelle sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Michelle. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Michelle's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from sprouts. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Michelle was down to the final piece of the door made from sprouts. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Michelle had eaten the entire front door of the house made from sprouts.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Terrance the Moose or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Michelle hurried over and grabbed Terrance the Moose, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Terrance the Moose was unharmed.

Michelle thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet John. It was starting to get dark.

When Michelle got to John's house, her threw his arms around her.

"I was so worried!" cried John. "You are very late."

As Michelle described her day, she could tell that John didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.

"What's that?" asked John.

Michelle unwrapped a doorknob made from humbugs. "Pudding!" she said.

John almost fell off his chair.

The End