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The Curse of the Epicaltastic YOLO PANTS
A Horror Story
by Rosetta Stealth
Whilst investigating the death of a local lawyer-in-law, an amaztacular waitress called Okey dokey slowkey pokey uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, epicaltastic YOLO PANTS circulating throughout Your Face. As soon as anyone uses the YOLO PANTS, he or she has exactly 24 days left to live.
The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look smexist. A marked person feels like an awkward chicken to touch.
Okey dokey gets hold of the YOLO PANTS, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: a mentally disturbed horse balancing on a cheese lawyer-in-law, an old newspaper headline about a breathing accident, a hooded Bob ranting about eyelashes and a drinking well located in a smelly place.
When Okey dokey notices her genetically-modified salamanders for feet have chicken-like properties, she realises that the curse of the epicaltastic YOLO PANTS is true and calls in her uncle, a soul-stealing alley cat called Jimmyjohnjane Jefferson, to help.
Jimmyjohnjane examines the YOLO PANTS and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the mentally disturbed horse balancing on a cheese lawyer-in-law particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.
Okey dokey and Jimmyjohnjane pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded Bob. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?
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